A SERIOUS GAME

A SERIOUS GAME

As the curtain slowly drew into the middle of the stage, one central character remained on stage. His face full of anguish with a gun pointed at his temple. The curtains closed and as the lights went down a single shot fired out across the silent auditorium. There was a massive gasp from the audience… and then a tumult of applause. The curtains opened and there stood the cast taking their bows… but where was the main character? He appeared to the relief of the audience and received further applause. The curtains drew once again, and opened to give the director and stage management their acknowledgements.

The actor playing the would-be soldier, took off his soldier fatigues and placed the clothes on top of the starting pistol and caps. He took his kitbag upstairs to the bar and accepted a drink from the barmaid he’d invited to see the show the night before.

“Did you enjoy the play?”

“I’m glad I met you before I saw it, you were bloody terrifying!”

He smiled. He was so pumped up with adrenaline from the performance, he couldn’t just stand still and talk, he had to circulate. He went over to his friends, the stage manager, and his special girlfriend who had taught him how to walk like a psychopath.

“Well Jen, what did you think?”

“Yeah, it was so right about the building of new roads… the actors were brilliant, you could tell they were professionals.”

“What about me?”

“Well, you were just you weren’t you.”

Damned with feint praise. Your best friend can’t see passed the fact you are her best friend. She was buzzing from the message and speed probably, knowing her.

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We walked away from the theatre, drunk on the excitement of the performance and the praise of friends and family. I had to walk Jenny home, her kids were being babysat by one of her erstwhile boyfriends and father of the youngest. A volatile chap, it didn’t do to leave him waiting too long. Jenny was buzzing her tit’s off, as it is colloquially expressed… She began kicking wing mirrors off cars as we walked through the back streets of the town. I raged at her.

“That’s somebody’s car!”

“They’re ruining the planet with their bloody cars!”

“And that gives you the right to ruin their property?”

I grabbed hold of her tightly and kissed her roughly. Anything to take her mind off mindless wanton destruction. It worked. We walked out on to the main road arm in arm, lust replacing her righteous outrage at property and transport… I had the kitbag over one shoulder and Jenny grasped tightly on my other arm. She was a dangerous character when riled. She had a six inch bloody knife in her bag, so it didn’t bode well on anyone who wanted to mix it with her. I certainly wasn’t man enough. Fifty yards down the road a police car screamed to a halt beside us.

We walked on. The Policeman jumped out of the cruiser and called after us. I turned and pulled Jenny to a halt as she was about to ignore the call.

“where are you coming from?” He asked.

“I’ve just come off-stage from the theatre.” I said innocently.

“What’s in you bag?”

“Just my costume.”

“Can I have a look?”

He came over to me and I opened the bag. He felt around the army fatigues but found nothing of interest.

“Have you seen anybody, only we’ve had a report of somebody vandalizing cars…”

“Not seen anybody officer, just walking my friend home from the theatre, can’t be too careful around here.”

“Ok. Well you be careful.”

“Yes officer, thank you.”

We walked on and the cop got back in his car and drove off.

Jenny giggled.

“What?” I said wearily.

“Yes officer…thank you officer… you’re so innately middle-class!”

“And you are a maniac! Nearly got me arrested!”

“You’re lucky he didn’t search my bag, I’ve got my hunting knife in it!” She exclaimed.

“That’s nothing, if he’d searched mine better he’d have found my fucking gun!”

Imagine that, coming off stage and getting arrested by armed police carrying what they thought was a revolver. A more than cursory look in my bag and I’d have been face down in the street, with the copper ringing up for back-up… Salutary experiences from the dark side of town.

DALE M 2024